Are the thoughts true…
7 Thoughts That Will Mess With Your Head
Have you ever had a negative thought that just sat in your brain and kept you from being happy? Maybe it was something you said to yourself or something someone said to you. Perhaps you told yourself you were stupid or ugly, or maybe you reminded yourself of everything wrong with your life.
Thing is, these thoughts don’t have to be true. As the saying goes, “it’s all in your head.”
Here’s a list of 7 Thoughts That Will Mess With Your Head (and block your happiness):
- I’m too (fat/ugly/stupid/weird/lazy/poor…).
- No one would want to go out with me/be my friend/spend time with me (because of [list reasons]).
- Nothing ever works out for me (because of [list reasons]).
- I’m going to fail (at [whatever] because of [list reasons]).
- He/she doesn’t really like me (because of [list reasons]).
- If I ask for help, no one will want to help me (because of [list reasons]).
- I feel like a fraud (because of [list reasons])
You can fill in the list of reasons. These 7 thoughts are not uncommon; in fact, they are quite common.
I have found Byron Katie’s process of asking four questions, known as “The Work”, to be a powerful tool.
She has a simple, but profound system for freeing ourselves from thoughts that make us suffer.
When you have these negative thoughts, ask yourself these questions:
Question 1: Is it true? …Byron Katie, “The Work”
Question 2: Can you absolutely know it’s true? …
Question 3: How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought? …
Question 4: Who would you be without the thought? …
Turn the thought around: To do the turnarounds, find opposites of your negative thought or judgment.
Is the opposite as true as or truer than the original thought?
Here’s an example:
“David doesn’t want to spend time with me”.
Do the turnaround…
“David wants to spend time with me”
“I don’t like to spend time with David”
“I want to spend time with David”
Try to find 3 turnarounds if possible for each negative thought or judgments, after you’ve answered the 4 questions.
Give it a try. Byron Katie has a worksheet at her website thework.com that you can download for free that will guide you through the questions and the turnarounds.